I guess I am a little bit of the cliché’ “engage-ee” today. Those of you that are married, may remember that feeling. That foreign feeling of having that bling on your finger. The sparkle that catches your eye. That little snag of carbon, catching on your clothes. And the constant need to wipe away even the first hint of a smudge. It’s all so bright and shiny and new and magnificent! You just can’t fathom how the gas station clerk isn’t noticing and commenting on your newly acquired sparkle!
And let’s face it- isn’t that a metaphor for a relationship? In the grand scheme of life- in the ups and downs and good times and hardships and years of routine that will take place: even our relationship of a couple of years is still new and shiny.
But, as is reality, the ring will dull. The sparkle will diminish. The day will come where it will wear calluses onto my finger and I will hardly notice it. And I supposed, for us, tough times will come. We’ll face challenges, hardships, slumps, routines. But, the fantastic truth is, I know we’ll survive them. If I didn’t know that, we wouldn’t be going down this incredibly wonderful, possibly bumpy, always unknown road. I can’t tell you how I know, but I just know. I know that we’ve found in each other that person that is your perfect other half. Someone who genuinely enjoys your company and wants to be your partner. I wrote about marriage one other time, and what I yearned to someday find, what I refused to accept less than:
“You support each other, and little facets of your life intertwine and intersect in lots of places. Someone is there, they notice when you come home. They can tell how you're feeling. Sometimes they just sit with you- and you don't need to talk. You know the same stories, and have the same jokes. Because over time, those things have just melded together. Instead of his stories and her stories you just have "our" stories. You have fun together, and the same things make you laugh! There are little gestures, just those hidden little intimacies between two people. Kind words, a soft touch. You have inside jokes. You know their favorite meal, they know your saddest story. They know your strengths. And you know their vulnerabilities. You can laugh at your imperfections together. They know you're going to make mistakes and you know despite that, they're going to keep loving you anyway. You talk things out, make decisions together- whether it's where to go out to eat, or where to buy your next house. Two voices work together to solve life's problems, overcome the hurdles. And when you have a happy moment, you have the feeling where you can't wait to tell them because it truly affects them. It's their life as much as it is yours. I guess, the assumption is there that together, you're a "WE." You might have separate interests. But we're a WE.”
So marrieds out there, take a moment to clean your bling. Remove the lint, get that tiny scrub brush out and make it look shiny and new again. It’s a great reminder to yourself and the world, that you have a lot to be proud of! I am happy to show the world my new bling and someday you may have to remind me to do the same thing! In the mean time, shine on little ring, shine on... ("little" being a term of enddearment, said ring is not too little at all!)