Please. Stop.

Dear Fredericks of Hollywood,

Safe to say you can stop marketing your slutty Halloween costumes to my inbox. I appreciate the constant reminder that I can’t pull that stuff off, I do. But, let’s part ways amicably. By amicably I mean I will not deface your advertising with graffiti. OK, I might still do that. I feel like none of us wants to look at those picture perfect bodies- who’s with me!!?? (crickets…)

When you come up with a pumpkin-shaped costume with lots of stuffing in the midsection, call me.

Regards,

Early-thirties mom. Late twenties lady. Who has breast feed two children.With perky but small (ish) assets. With a muffin top like you wouldn’t believe. Who could stand to focus on the core a little more.