We go to Des Moines a lot, so that means we have lots of interesting "car talk", my two little monkeys and I. Well, recently, the monkey were being APES! Whiny, ornery, loud... all of the things you don't really want in the car! Finally I said- a bit firmly- to my 5 year old:
Me: "Listen! I am very disappointed! You've been whiny and rude this whole car ride! You keep yelling at me, you're not being respectful and you're unappreciative! You've asked for music and your book and your laptop and a juice and chips and crackers and cookies and you're not sharing with your sister and you're both not using your inside voices!"
I said this all in the big one-breath dramatic kind of way that only mothers can do. Because 95% of the time the mommy filter works effectively, where we can just cancel out the white noise of ornery kids in the car. But in the 5% of time wehre I cannot- you get the dramatic, run-on sentence mommy lashing.
She looks at me in the rearview mirror and rather indignantly in a somewhat disgusted voice responds:
"I never asked for crackers..."
And you know what, she's right. Touche' Sassy, you did NOT ask for crackers. Carry on...