There was a saying I always liked. When God closes a door he opens a window. A window of opportunity I guess. My friend K just posted today, "Things fall apart, so other things can fall together." I like them both, because simply put, I've found them to be true. Some of my biggest disappointments in life have turned into blessings.
There's little doubt, the biggest failure of my life has been getting divorced. At it's core, it's a failure of keeping a promise, a failure of working things out, a failure of caring enough for another person, and a failure of committment. Eight years ago I promised to do those things, and today I find myself with two beautiful children, moving out of our home, and ripping another person's life apart. It's not something I can ever feel good about.
But like with other failures in my life, blessings have come from it. There were good reasons it had to happen, so some things were naturally instantly better. I think my children are doing great, and it's a blessing to see that. I think they'll have new opportunities, they'll be closer to my family, and they'll be better suited to find a healthy relationship of their own someday.
Personally, I feel like windows are flying open left and right! I now have the freedom to be myself, and if NOTHING else, that opportunity right there was worth it all. I no longer have to be a shell of a person to try to appease someone else.
Another window has opened as well. I've had the opportunity to spend time with someone very special to me. It's funny, life has a way of unwinding a path for you. When you feel most lost, most confused, things always seem to work themselves out. I wasn't looking for someone special, and he wasn't looking for me. But, that's how life works.
He and I were friends for almost 8 years. In fact, I've known him longer than I knew my Ex husband, by several years! Our path looked a little like this: Met in college, worked together at a sporting goods store, graduated and moved on with life, met up again a few years later in our current job, became great friends over the course of many shared laughs, beers and experiences in those years. And then when I found myself single again, I allowed myself, for the first time in so long, to wonder about what, or who, might really make me happy. Next thing you know, the breeze of happiness is blowing in that newly open window!
So, here we are. Together. Our first picture ever taken as an "us." It was taken on a cell phone and it's therefore not very good quality, but it will always be my favorite.
Monday, February 1, 2010
So, Taylor Swift won the big Grammy award of the night. I have to admit, the teeny bopper in me likes her! She very talented, writing her own music and actually playing instruments. It's refreshing in an era where most post stars are underaged girls with implants and no musical ability, so their voices are synthesized beyong recognition. Her music is light and fun and about simple things like love! And I think that it doesn't matter how old you are, or what path you've taken in life, who can't remember what it feels like to be so in love?