Dear crazy lady at the salad bar,
Remember when you asked me what happened to my hand? And then I looked at you like "WTF" because grown adults don't ask questions like that. And then you looked stricken and said, "Well that's really too bad."
It's really too bad that you were 200 pounds over weight and had a bad bad complexion. I'm just saying. A lot of things are too bad. We don't always go around saying them.
The girl flipping you the bird. One bird at least.