Last night was awful. It as one of those nights where you tell your spouse, "YOUR child was a monster last night," with lots of emphasis on the your, because you are certain that all of the stubborn DNA came from him. One of those nights where you want to just kill yourself from being so tired. I contemplated wrapping the mobile around my neck, turning it all and hoping it swiftly did the job so I could finally enjoy some peaceful rest (albeit eternal rest). Alas, I did not commit mobilcide on myself, but here is what almost drove me to it...
Let me paint the picture. You get your angelic child asleep. In my case, I had just nursed her. I had just finished up on one side, and was trying to get her back awake to nurse on the other side before putting her back down to sleep for good. She wasn't having it (therein sealing my fate to forever be lopsided "up top"). She was out. I mean, OUT! She was in a lactose-induced coma. Full on milk sedation. I have seen grown women with 17 Vodka Tonics in them, lying on a bathroom floor in a bar who are more responsive. (OK, that was actually me. It was my bachelorette party- don't judge. And- while the bouncer did have to practically carry me out, my feet were sort of shuffling so I was therefore more responsive than said child).
OK, so she's in this milk coma like she gets. I tickle her, I change her diaper, I make her go all marionette and have her do little jumping jacks as I envision her watching "Sweatin' to the Oldies" with Richard Simmons. I do everything humane to wake her up and she is lights out. There is NO waking this kid up.
Ahhhh, but there is. As any parent knows, there is. So, resigned, I ever so softly, ever so gingerly place her in her cradle. I lay in bed, pull my warm covers up to my shoulders, shut my eyes and let my body relax... and BAM! She's awake. She's looking around, grunting, wanting held. 10 seconds ago she was sleeping through baby jumping jacks and now, she's wide awake and all, "Hey lady, pick me back up!"
And it's not like this kid doesn't sleep. She does sleep, often in fact. She sleeps in my arms, she sleeps in her swing, she sleeps in her carseat, she sleeps on my chest, she sleeps in her cradle, she sleeps in my arms (I know I said that one but since that is all I do all day long I figured it was worth mentioning twice). She does know how to sleep. We've even had a 5-hour stretch or two lately. But last night- oh man. This baby joust occurred ALL night long. I mean all night. I mean, I finally got her down at 6:45 AM (that's right, AM) only to have the rest of the household wake up 45 minutes later.
I'm tired. I haven't completely ruled out mobilcide- we'll see how today progresses.