An intervention. An ass-intervention to be specific. I mean, I get that of course my normal clothes would seize to fit. Then my bras. Then my underwear. But now, NOW, it's my maternity clothes. My MATERNITY clothes! And you wanna know what the problem is? My huge pregnant ASS! I usually try to refrain from the foul language and all, but you cannot fully comprehend this physique with mention of a mere "buttocks," "rump" or "behind." Unless plaid makes things 8 times larger than normal size, then I have determined (with affirmation from the very man who did this thing to me) that indeed, my ass is the size of a 1970's era Buick. We're talking big folks. The only relief in coming to terms with that fact, is that I can quit blaming the cute, patchy plaid Bermuda-style maternity shorts that I dropped $35 dollars on. I was all ready to set fire to them, which was sort of sad since I lost sleep for 3 nights over them, stewing about spending $35 on casual shorts when 95% of my life is spent in "business attire." But man, the 3 times I got to wear them this summer they did look really cute!
So now what you ask? I don't know to be honest... Try to wretch that burrito out of my hand and I'll snap your arm off and slap you across the face with it. Maybe I should try on the ol' exercise routine again. Course at this point I can barely waddle across the house for another Dilly bar... so we'll see how that goes.
And yes... I do in fact still ahve 3 months to go.