Oh sure, he's been known to be verbally abusive. But don't we all have a little verbal agression in us??? Sure, he crushes dreams... in my world that's called pragmatic. I particularly enjoyed some of the following, he's a man after my own heart!
"Not in a billion years. There are only so many words I can drag out of my vocabulary to tell you how awful that was."
"You are utterly insignificant."
"Oh!! You just killed my favorite song of all time."
"You are dreadful. Really dreadful. And I’m saying that to be kind."
"You actually sing like a train going off the rails."
"You have a singing teacher? Get a lawyer and sue her. I’m serious."
Yes, he's got a way with words! There are times when I want to BE Paula. Well, without the washed up popsinger career. Sure, she has a healthy dose of crazy in her, but when my man Simon is all sweet and cuddly and flirty I want to jump into my TV and become her anyway. Ahhhhh.
He has even been known to have a soft heart- which by itself would be kind of pansy and lame, but in light of his otherwise boorish behavior it's quite appealing!
Love you Simon! Maybe you could be my valentine? Or just send me a card? An e-card at least? It doesn't have to be sweet. In fact, I prefer it not be. Something like, "Be Mine you pathetic train wreck, excuse of a woman. Hugs and Kisses, Simon." Now that's hot.